Where is the hickey?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
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When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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