...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
