pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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