Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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