I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
