Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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