we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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