I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You took a bar mat shot.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
