To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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