HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need water and some morals
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
