sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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