Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
