You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
