If that was your dad, he is hot
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just tell him i said nine months
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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