Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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