the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
