the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think your dad took our porno
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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