if you like me you must not know who I am
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
