kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
