It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
