I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That accounts for only three of the penises
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
