tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we're so committed to being not committed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
