Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
