I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize