Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
