Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
