He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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