I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
