somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drunk is a universal language darling
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
