He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize