this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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