What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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