I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
