Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
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