idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
