It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize