This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
did i just pee glitter
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