omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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