he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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