ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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