I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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