nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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