Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.