We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
