The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
