I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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