you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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