literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
