forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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