wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
