I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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