There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
