I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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