We won't sleep together?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
