is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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