Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
