hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
