I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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